Summary

Ok, it's 2am so I gotta make this quick.
Me and Erin. Paris. Hotel. Not in Paris. Owned by all Italians. Nice employee named Antonio. Free Drinks. Friend named Mario (what else?). Boatclubbingdancing. American music. African dancing. Nice guy (gentleman). Walked us back.

GREAT NIGHT!

More to follow!

(oh and btw I went to Chaumont on Wednesday, BEAUTIFUL gardens. I would love to go back at somepoint.)

Peace

GREAT NEWS

And on a completely different note, I have GREAT NEWS for anyone who hasn't heard via facebook (which is no one. Oh well).

Enormous Rooms, the undergrad creative literary journal at the U, accepted one of my submissions for their latest edition, meaning I am now OFFICIALLY PUBLISHED! SO exciting! If you are interested in getting a copy, you can show up to the release party on Friday, July 9th (which is the day after I get back), at 7pm at The King's English on 1511 S 1500 E.

That being said, many people were curious as to WHAT was published. It's funny because I'm actually much more of a fiction person than poetry, but they accepted my poem, so that explains the reposting of the poem (2 posts ago). However, you should just come to the party and get the real thing, because the formatting is somewhat off because blogger.com doesn't like me. However, they might TOTALLY mess up the formatting too. Well see. But basically they poem has not only a poetic, but also a visual aspect. You almost have to pay more attention to what's not there. However, because of that concept, I will not read at the release (even though I can if I feel so inclined) because there is no way to convey what you would experience when reading the poem. There is too much going on visually to convey with words I guess.

Anyway, this is just SUPER exciting for me since this is the first of hopefully many many more publications of my work, and now I feel like I'm on my way to a big-girl job!

If you are interested in getting a copy of Enormous Rooms but can't make it, either tell me, or you can stop by the English Dept and they'll probably have some extras. They're free no matter what, so you don't have to worry about that.

:D

Peace

I know, I know

I know, I haven't written in forever so everybody is in the dark as to what's going on in my life. Let me try to do some catching up bullet style:

-Until today I felt like I was getting better and better scores on my tests. I actually got a 20/20 on one test which really confused me because you're not supposed to be able to get a perfect score on tests the way that the French grade, but oh well, can't complain.

-My house-mom told me there was a really nice park by my house with animals, so I was expecting like squirrel or chickens or something. Kangaroos and flamingos!!! Also, assorted, turtles, a donkey, and some birds (of which, the peacocks were the best). Freaking amazing.

-I went to Amboise on Friday and rode the train for the first time. Well I rode it once with my mom in 7th grade, but I don't really remember it. I felt like a grown-up. It was fun. So it's a chateau and we were a little underwhelmed by how much we actually got to see. It's on the small side as far as chateaus go, but we only got to see like 4 rooms, and there were definitely like 3 whole floors we didn't get to see. However, the gardens were pretty and the view was great. And the most amazing part of all: I saw LEONARDO DAVINCI'S grave! I didn't know it was there, and I couldn't even comprehend the magnitude of what I beheld. I mean, he is responsible for the advancement of what eventually became much of modern technology, along with being an amazing artist. I didn't even know what to do with myself. And of course, I forgot my camera.

-Saturday I went to Versailles. HUGE chateau. There is a lot of history there. Marie Antoinette, Louis XIV, Napoleon, etc. Absolutely beautiful (and gigantic) gardens. It was really cool to think that Marie Antoinette/Louis XIV/Napoleon walked the same paths as I was walking. On another note, Americans are stupid and while being a tourist I think I'll keep my distance from them. Ok not really, but there were some people in our group I wanted to have some choice words with. Rude, ignorant, and spoiled does not even to begin to describe them, but I'll stop there. So I'm thinking maybe from now on, when people as me where I'm from (here) maybe I'll say Canada so they don't automatically hate me. People like the ones at Versailles are the reason everybody hates America (besides all the political reasons).

-I went to Fete de La Musique last night which was the most F-ing awesome thing I've ever been to. So in France (and some other countries that have caught on), June 21st(ish) of every year is Fete de la Musique (which means Music Festival or Party). On that day, anybody who wants to can go into the streets and play music. So there was EVERY single kind of band you can imagine: a whole bunch of rock bands, heavy metal, bagpipes, marching bands, jazz, techno, DJs etc. And then since France has a lot of African immigrants, there were a whole bunch of African Drum circles playing music and some of them had dancers too. I REALLY wanted to join the dancers (since West African Dance was one of the coolest dance classes I ever took), but I think I would look like a fool, being white. Anyway, it was cool. Let me tell you that hearing a band cover "California Rest in Peace" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, but with a French accent is about one of the funniest things ever. After a couple hours (and a beer and a strawberry colada), we went to La Gangette (which is probably spelled wrong), which is a bar with music and dancing down by the river. The music they were playing was this really weird folksy stuff, but us girls looked at each other and thought, might as well, and jumped right in. It was actually way fun. Everybody was doing their own weird dance moves, and this random French guy grabbed me and danced with me for a song which was WAY fun (mostly because it was so unexpected). And our little group started coming up with almost a uniform dance that involved turning around every 8 counts and clapping twice. Good times. All in all it was a great night.

-I went to bed last night at 1:30 and got up at 8 for school. And took two tests. So those might not have gone as well. However, I believe the idea of "When in Rome" applies here, and it was totally worth it.

Oh and the French soccer team is dumb. Yeah.

Peace.

Fragments of __________

It's been too long

_____years

you left me

____ing

by a _____

of hope

one evening full of hopedreamsreminisce

I waited

watched

wondered

I remembered

you removed_____self

____ago

absent

Unremember

The_____

Our lifelovefamily

The
_____s and ____s we shared.

I

love(d)

y_____

o____

u_____

Late ___sleepless nights,

Do you ____in ___,

alone,

and do you think of ____?

Ever?

Do you remember?

Does your ____still ____the way it used to?

Does it ____ethereal and______?

Does (i)t still (catch) the s(u)nlight

in the early morning

and make you appear m(erel)y angel(ic)?

Stale ____and _of__

Late nights of laughter

I remember.

The ______is empty.

My ______is cold.

I miss my ______.

Please come home.

New Layout

So I'm trying a new layout. What do people think? I happen to quite like the dandelions blowing in the wind.

Leftovers

Things I am missing right now:

-Landon

-Kombucha

-My passion for "Unapologies"

-the sun. It's been rainy here for the past few days.

On the bright side, I bought a cute umbrella for only 5 euros. Most places were selling them for anywhere between 15-20. I found the cheap on at a shoemaker's. That's right, a traditional shoemaker that just happens to sell umbrellas and handbags. Most random thing ever.

And hopefully this is the last time I post 3 different messages in one day. I just felt that because each one had such different flavors, they needed to be separate. If you hate me for clogging up your Blogger newsfeed, so be it.

Peace.

An Undesirable Trait

So I've come to a realization lately. I think I'm a chameleon.

So for those of you who went to a totally new place for college and lived in the dorms (or maybe not), here it's like freshman year in the dorms. None of us really knew each other very well and so we became friends REALLY fast. We all sort of clung to each other. So I have this issue that I've realized throughout the past year that I'm really not proud of:

I REALLY want people to like me.

I know, it doesn't really seem like a big deal, right? Everybody wants to be liked, right? But honestly, I feel like it has become a problem for me. I feel like I am trying too hard all the time. I carefully feel out what the people I'm around are like so I can act accordingly. And I test the waters for what kind of humor these people appreciate. I laugh when others laugh. I coincidentally have similar likes and dislikes. I somehow have a similar outlook on life and the world. I feel like one of the only things that is concrete about me is my vegetarianism, and even the reasons behind it are fluid and always changing. Why am I vegetarian? Really? I don't know. I have about three reasons, but only one of them is for sure at least half-true, but I don't like sharing that with people. Mostly because if you suddenly tell people about an eating disorder in your past, they pity you. I don't want pity. If you wanna talk to me and learn more about my past then great, lets talk, but don't just pity me for something that just happens to be true. And people often take it that way.

Anyway, it has really been frustrating me lately, this problem of mine. I love people for their uniqueness, for their imperfections, their strange quirks, their passion for life, and what they love to do. What do I love to do? What are those things for me? What is really true about me that I don't just say to satisfy/fit in with others?

I know I love to write. I know I love Landon. I know I love my family. I know I love my close friends. I know I really love to laugh. I know that nothing compares watching the sun rise over Lake Tahoe at 4:30 AM from the highest mountain around with about 50 other people. Well, it's only rivaled by watching the sunset from the highest point in Zion National Park that few people hike to. Or maybe the sunset over the Salt Lake Valley from Living Room. I know these things.

It seems that I define my identity far to heavily by the people around me and my conditions. And that is not me. This trait is SO not me. How did this happen? And now that I realize it, how do I fix it?

Peace.

(and why do I always end my posts with "Peace"?)

Why do so many of my posts have titles that have to do with catching up?

So let's see, what have I been up to for the past week?

Friday afternoon, I went with friends to a park and we sat there and drank wine, ate cheese and grapes, and felt wonderfully French. Bonus: we bought 2 bottles of wine and they were both only 2,33! Yeah, wine here is super cheap, given it wasn't something you would pay $100 dollars for here. I think the fact that there is just SO MUCH wine here makes it easy to find/buy.

Saturday we went to Mont St. Michel and this other town who's name I forgot. Anyway, you should totally look up Mont. St. Michel on Google images. It's way cool. I put up some pictures, but my Facebook is being temperamental so I don't know how long it will be till I get them all up. Anyway, it's this island, sort of. When we got there, it was a big mountain surrounded by wet sand, and it was super misty, so we couldn't even see the ocean, but apparently the tide rises and sometimes the water covers the road to get out to it. So it's this tiny island/mountain. There is a really narrow walkway lined with cafes, restaurants, hotels, and souvenir shops. It was WAY crowded. There are a few different ways to get up, and there are lots of spots to walk around and look out at the ocean/wet sand. Basically, they told us on our tour, that people began building churches there like forever ago, and eventually, they would build a new church on top of the old one. So we took a tour that started at the top, and as we began descending levels, the architecture got older and older. It was really cool. If you're interested in pictures, I took about a million and they're making they're making their way onto Facebook.

Then we went to this other town. I really don't know its name. To be honest, I didn't even know we were going anywhere else. But this town was really cool. It was almost an island. It was a port, so there were a bunch of boats, and it was like huge castle as well. It had this really cool cathedral that we walked around in for a little while. My group of friends, which has aptly named itself "Team Awesome" ended up temporarily gaining some members and we went to a restaurant to get some drinks. I learned that French hot chocolate comes unsweetened and they give you a few packs of sugar to sweeten it to your taste. I think that's pretty darn cool. So apparently this place was known for its cider and crepes (honestly, what place in France ISN'T known for it's crepes?). Three of my friends tried the cider when we got drinks. I had never tried cider before (meaning the alcoholic kind). Basically, it tastes like spiked apple juice with a hint of beery taste. I thought it was pretty good, but the guys who had ordered it said it wasn't the best sider they'd ever had. It wasn't terrible, it just didn't seem abnormally fantastic. Basically it was a pretty cool town to see, but I'm ok with the fact that we only spent 2 or 3 hours there and more time at Mont St. Michel.

Oh yeah, and when we got back, it was close to midnight. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find my way back. Luckily, I found the right street. Unluckily, I turned the wrong way. Luckily, I figured it out when it ended at a park instead of the Institut and I figured out where I was. Unluckily, a girl who had been on the bus with us followed me because I looked like I knew where I was going. Hilariously, I got scared that some girl was following me while I was alone in the dark in an empty town around midnight, even after I had turned around and crossed the street. You know how in those movies in middle school they say that if you're walking alone at night and are suspicious that some one is following you, cross the street and see if they follow? Yeah, I did that, and she followed, thinking I might head in another direction that would lead her home. I was just about to move onto step 4: run for the next open business, when she jogged to catch up with me and asked me if I was heading to the Institut. Haha. Why yes I was. She lives right across the street and had followed some people who looked like they knew where they were going (meaning me, her first mistake). She asked me 2 or 3 times more if I knew where I was going, to which I replied that now I did, and when we got to the Institut, her brother was sitting outside her house waiting for her. After that, I made it safely home.

A couple nights ago, I went out with friends. We went to a restaurant that was pretty traditionally French that had nothing vegetarian on the menu (unless you don't count escargo, which is technically a dead animal, but doesn't easily fall in with other "meats"). So I had to ask for my meal without meat, which was fine. Super amazing potatoes.

Afterward, we went to this bar next to the river. I always forget the name. Anyway, they were featuring regional wines, so I got a glass of what a lot of other people were drinking, since I didn't really know where to start. It was good. Probably some of the better wine I've had. Again, a glass of wine in the US is usually 4-6 dollars, right? This one was 2,50 euros. Nice, right? Anyway, some other people got this white wine (mine was red) that tasted kind of like a mixture of pineapple and honey, which was awesome. Then a couple people got this sparkling wine which basically tasted like spiked Izzy. I was really tempted to get some, but I'd had about a glass with dinner and a glass at the bar, and since it was a school night, I didn't wanna wake up with a headache. Again, I found it home safely.

Yesterday was an alright day. I went shopping with friends. Actually, it was more like shopping for shopping. We went around for a few hours looking for good places to shop since we're poor and don't care that much about looking super chic. We found basically the French version of Forever 21 and I bought a much-needed belt. I might go back for a jacket or scarf, both of which were way cute and reasonably priced.

I have a few more things to say, but possibly in another post. That's most of the ketchup for now.

Peace.

The End of the World (unfinished)

This is the very beginning of a piece I just started the other day for fun:

Many people gathered in that place at the end of the world. None of us knew each other and we spoke a language that was foreign to all. We lost ourselves in the middle of a town that never existed. Deep inside the town was a park that was older than time itself that housed every plant, but none of them had names.

The ducks swam circles around the lily pads in a the pond in the park in the town that never existed. They swam the same way they had for millions of years and the same way they would for millions more, after the end of the world.

Earth got used up. Technology prevailed, but not enough to save its users. And all that remained was us with the ducks in the part in the place that never existed.

Presently, more people arrived. Circus workers parked their bikes near us and began juggling between cigarette puffs. They set out a jar in front of them to make some tips before the end.

We sipped wine and ate bread and cheese that we bought at a nearby store that never existed within the town that never existed. There had been a sale that day, The Last Day. As I leaned against a tree in the park, I knew every leaf’s life story, since before time. We leaned and sipped and smoked and watched the jugglers. We listened to men speaking in tongues nearby. Whether of men, of angels, of demons, we knew not, and it mattered not.

The air was thick with laziness. It was warm and a little humid, with just a hint of remorse. A wilting breeze ruffled our damp hair as we contentedly awaited the end. The sky was dark green.

Then, just as gradually as they arrived, people began to leave. Soon we were a mass moving towards a mountain. The narrow street was lined with cafes and shops as it spiraled around the mountain towards the top. Resturants advertised “End of the World Specials!” and encouraged customers to “Have Your Last Meal in Style!” But nobody had any money except the circus performers who had their tips, and they were vegetarian. There was nothing for them here.

At the top of the mountain we found a basilica, now full of humanity but empty of religion. No one worshipped here. As soon as we were all assembled, two short man-like creatures motioned us to be silent. The noise that didn’t come from voices stopped. Then they led us through gothic arches and out the side door to a garden of ashes.

Better

Today was good. During lunch, I went exploring with some friends and we ended up at this gigantic cathedral. It was really pretty but of course, I forgot my camera! It really was amazing though. I think it's one of the biggest cathedrals I've ever been in. There was a lot of really cool stuff in it, and it made me wish I knew more about Catholicism so I could appreciate it more, but even with my limited knowledge I could recognize the beauty and just wonder at how long it took to build.

Things with my family are getting easier. Dinner was really good tonight. They had chicken and I had tuna and it was with rice and this sauce with veggies. I kept smelling it and wondering when we could eat because it smelled so good. I don't know what was in the sauce, but it was amazing. It almost smelled like something you would eat at an Indian restaurant, which I've only done once, so I guess I'm not exactly the expert on those smells. I don't think it was curry. Whatever it was, it was good.

We talked some more. I felt like at the end of the meal we were able to actually have a sort of conversation. I asked what "vachement" means. Literally translated, it basically turns "cow" into an adjective, like "cowly." I already kind of knew that it meant "very" sort of and she explained to me that it's more of a colloquial saying that younger people use and gave me some examples of synonyms. We talked about a few things. And I asked my sister, Andrea (who's 14 and very smart) to help me with the front door. I can't quite understand how to lock it. Anyway she helped me and then she asked be about my book that I had left sitting on a chair, "The Best American Science and Nature Writing." It's the 2007 edition and apparently every edition is good. Anyway, she asked me about it and I said it was a book that has information about science (and I guess nature) but it's not boring like a text book because it's written by really creative authors and thus, I find it interesting. Then we talked about the Chroni(WHAT?!)icles of Narnia (sorry, SNL joke.) and I told her I just finished the last one a few days ago. She didn't quite know what I was talking about, but then I told her there were two movies too, and told her the names and she said she'd seen them. We talked about how we both liked the magical realism and fantasy land (ok so I don't know how to say magical realism in French, but the same idea). Then she showed me my new room (I'm going to switch rooms because Sunday they're getting another student who is facebook friends with my mom. she saw all these pictures of her drinking and now she's worried that she's going to be partying all the time, so she wants me to move downstars because I'm apparently calmer and quieter, so the noisy drunk girl can be upstairs and not keep her up.) It's kind of a random situation. There's another room upstairs with two beds, but she's going to get another 2 students from Mexico, and she's sure they'll be really loud, so she's putting them together in that room. My new room, however, will have a door right to the deck/patio area outside, so I don't really mind that much. Anyway, it's already getting later than I meant to be up, so I should go.

Peace.

Long story short, I didn't make it to my first classes on Tuesday. I don't wanna talk about it. It has to do with my snooze button not working. Anyway, I THINK I got put in the right levels, but everybody in my class insists on speaking English a lot of the time. I admit, I give in a lot. It's SO MUCH easier. In class discussions, I speak French, but there's this one girl who I honestly don't even know if she knows any French. It's really annoying. Anyway, my classes are hard, but luckily we don't really have that much homework. I don't start class till 11 on Mondays, and I'm done at 11 on Fridays.

So I'm really tired and I don't really feel like writing, so here are some update points:

-My family is nice. My mom tries to teach me the right thing to say when I don't know or I say the wrong thing.

-I'm making friends at the institut. There are still only a couple people that speak French all the time. Ashley is my favorite person so far. We have chatted a little bit everyday. It's odd--she's younger than me, but I often feel like she's way more mature than me.

-Coffee is cheap.

-I've had a really hard time eating lately. I didn't know if it was the food being too rich or what, but today I ate dinner by myself (my mom told me I was eating dinner alone, but didn't say why) and it was so much easier. I think possibly I get SO nervous about speaking and understanding French that the food turns to ash in my mouth. Honestly, sometimes I just sit there and chew and chew and I feel like I'll never be able to swallow. But tonight when I was by myself for the first meal, it was WAY less nervewracking and I think I ate the most I've eaten in a meal the entire time I was here. It was rather nice.

-I don't really know how to spend time with my family. Normally we eat dinner together, but that's kind of it. I mean, my mom and I chat a little bit at breakfast, but I don't know when or how else I should socialize with them. They seem to always be doing things.

-I learned today that intellectual in french is intelligent in english and intellectual in english is intelligent in french. My mom told me.

Ok. That's all for now folks.

Peace.